Getting fresh with the Prince-cess, chapter ten

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‘Lo these past 10 installments Eval Hood has been the unwitting victim of diabolical Nigerian scammer Ziva Abiya. Intent on taking her as a short-term new wife to replace the first who died in slightly sinister circumstances and get his hands on her fake inheritance, Hood has shared with his beloved how he has unwittingly been victim, both financially and physically, of fake scammer Reverend Attar. Now the good Reverend seeks to ruin the couples happiness by setting up his own fake e-mail account in her name and sending photos of someone else claiming to be the real Ziva.
Never the sharpest tool in the box, Hood has mistaken these for photos of
Ziva’s fake sister who doesn’t yet exist, but might need to soon as there’s some tragic news afoot…

From: Ziva Abiya
Date: 18 December 2012 0:56:19 GMT
To: Esq.Eval Hood
Subject: Re: Attn Mr Eval Hood

Dear Mr Eval Hood
Listen to me finally the Girl in the picture with the man you call Attar,please that is not my sister ok,this man you call Attar is forging all the note on my behalf or my sister,I don’t have any sister for your final information ok,please stay away with that man you call Reverend Attar,He is deceiving you,please stop forwarding my Email to him ok

“Attar” also responds to Hoods e-mail about the photograph with tragic news…

From: REVEREND FATHER ATTAR
Date: 18 December 14:01:38 GMT
To: Esq.Eval Hood, zivabiya, t****@***.com
Subject: HEED MY WORDS MY SUN, DO NOT BE DECIEVED

HERE ME NOW MY SUN , IT IS NEWS OF THE MOST SAD TERIBLE KIND BY GOD, AMEN, THAT YOUR BELPOED ziva biya HAS MET AN MOST EGREGIOUS END AT THE HANDS OF henry emanulle THAT DEVIL . PLEASD UNDERSTAND ALL YOUR EMAILS OF HER ARE FAKE NOW AND GOD, AMEN, REST HER SOLE TO IGNORE THESE EMAULS FROM henry emanuelle [name] WHO IS TRYING TO USING YOUR GOOD NAME TO SEXUALISE ORPHANS !

GOD, AMEN, HAS SMILED ON YOU AND HE WILL BLESS YOUR UNION WITH HER SISTER NOW pinta byia WHICH IS WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED FOR YOU TO COTINUE YOUR KIND DONATIONS TO OUR CHURCH AS MESAGE FROM HER BELOW:

Please i miss Pinta Abiya,be inform that my sister is now dead,from my last Email i sent to you. she is her last words to me that she wants you to be mined,and for your life together with me in your own counrtry soon in your wife
come to Senegal most promptly without contacting the address of zivabiya@yahoo.in zivabiya@yahoo.in again for your protection because the Reverand Emmanuale Henry is taking note of your privtae business for his crimes way am seen things you don’t know what you are doing ok,please your life is better then wife,,

IN MY TEARS FOR MY LOST SISTER I MUST AST YOU TO SEND URGENTLY DETAILS
1. your bank ACCOUNT number
3.your bank sort code

love
Pinta

URGENT YOU MUST RETUTN HER REQUETS TO YOU MY SUN FOR HER TO BE YOUR WIFE OR BY GOD, AMEN, SHE WILL MEET THE SAME FATE AS HER SISTER I FEAR
REV. ATTAR

“Pinta Abiya”. “pint of beer”… Heh. Anyway she’s quick to follow-up news of the death with an update on the funeral…

From: t****@***.com
Date: 18 December 2012 16:26:31 GMT
To: Esq.Eval Hood, zivabiya, REVEREND FATHER ATTAR
Subject: Re: Attn Mr Eval Hood

Please i miss Pinta Abiya,be inform that my sister is now dead,from my last Email i sent to you and i have sent photo of her funeral which you miss.
image042

Whitney Houston's funeralimage045
she is her last words to me that she wants you to be mined,and for your life together with me in your own counrtry soon in your wife
come to Senegal most promptly without contacting the address of zivabiya@yahoo.in zivabiya@yahoo.in again for your protection because the Reverand Emmanuale Henry is taking note of your privtae business for his crimes
IN MY TEARS FOR MY LOST SISTER I MUST AST YOU TO SEND URGENTLY DETAILS
1. your bank ACCOUNT number
3.your bank sort code

love
Pinta

With the loss of his second true love Hood is doubtless broken up and defiantly not lining up his next vict- err… betrothed, even if her fake dead sister would have wanted it that way to ensure the money kept flowing to Attar…

From: Eval Hood, Esq.
Date: 19 December 2012 14:44:00 GMT
To: t****@***.com, zivabiya, REVEREND FATHER ATTAR
Subject: Re: Attn Mr Eval Hood

Pinta, I am most egregious for your loss and hope Emanuelle Henry will be brought to justice for his crimes soon. The funeral for your sister looks to have been a great success with a huge turnout from the refugee camp in DAKAR.

The details your sister requested before her murder are as follows:
1. your bank ACCOUNT number : 814401701
3.your bank sort code – 14-32-20

Could you please send more photos of yourself at your earliest convenience, to allow me to judge if you look like my dead wife Tintin as I still have many of her clothes and had planned to ask Ziva to wear them on our honeymoon, a role obviously I would appreciate you filling after her passing.
By way of an example I would expect you to wear the dress seen in this picture of us both while making me my breakfast each morning.
image047
Regards,
Eval Hood

Probably pushing it too far there even for the scammers’ intelligence. Original Ziva breaks off contact at that point and even one final poking by Attar displaying his mastery of Photoshop sadly fails to provoke a response…

From: REVEREND FATHER ATTAR
Date: 21 December 14:01:38 GMT
To: Esq.Eval Hood, t****@***.com, zivabiya,
Subject: Re: Attn Mr Eval Hood

LISTEN MY SUN BY GOD, AMEN, HERE IS MOAR PICTURES OF YOUR BELOPVED ZIVA AS YOU REQUEST

REV. ATTARS
image049
I’m not altogether sad it ended though, by the end of it I was apparently trying to scam myself, marry myself and kill myself off. I was certainly confusing myself if nothing else..!

70 The Unexpected Artist Gallery, Promotional Event – 30th August 2014

DalekLocation
St. Enoch Shopping Centre, Glasgow 10:00 – 17:00

Mission Report
It may have taken a couple of false starts, but finally everyone managed to get their ducks in a row for this long mooted event (although ironically “short notice” being one of the reasons for the previous failure to launch) and despite my aversion to early starts Barry was ready to glide out of the door of the shopping centre about 11:00.  I was a bit wary of the idea of touring such a public space, especially with only one spotter, but fortunately at that time in the morning St. Enoch’s was still relatively quite.  This allowed the press photographer and PR people to get the photos they wanted without too much hassle and meant we were back safely ensconced in the Unexpected Artist gallery space before the place got too busy.

Following a break for lunch, we ventured out again.  This time the crowds were much more substantial and the presence of a Dalek was creating a bottle neck on one side of the north wing of shops.  With security showing some concern we moved to the more open area below Hamleys, across from the food court and it was like Pied Piper with a trail of folk following in the monochrome menaces’ wake.
Although both Julie and I were slightly reticent about these “tours” it did bring a bunch of extra visitors back to the gallery unit each time we returned so from that point of view I guess it was a success.

Thus far we’d remained on the same floor as the gallery, but buoyed with confidence for our final trip out we dared the lifts to get down for a spin around the ground floor.  This created some opportunities for shock reactions as the lift doors opened on the unwary and a stand raising money for children’s cancer awareness received a little boost in bucket donations when we situated ourselves next to them for a couple of minutes.

Unfortunately the resulting newspaper article in the Sunday Sun failed to actually mention the Unexpected Artists gallery in it’s text, instead rather vaguely implying our presence was to promote the new series of Doctor Who, but as the reporter on the day was too scared to approach the Dalek it’s not surprising the facts got muddied.
Sunday Sun 31/08/14

Loving a good pun, the only slight disappointment for me was that the event didn’t take place at the shopping centre at Braehead.  That way the headline could have been a more appropriate “INTU The Dalek”…

Visual Archive

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Dalek – Invasion St. Enochs 2014 A.D.

DalekInvasion

Exterminate! Exterminate! Shoppers will be subjected to a Dalek invasion as we celebrate the return of Dr Who.

A life-sized version of the Time Lord’s arch nemesis will be flying into the Centre on August 30, a week after the new Dr Who series – featuring Scots actor Peter Capaldi – gets underway on BBC 1.

 

The centre will also be home to a full-sized Tardis from August 30.
The event is part of the St. Enoch Centre Artists (SEA) project, which showcases the work of a wide range of aspiring artists, from secondary school pupils to university students, and aims to provide shoppers with an art experience

The Dalek will glide around the Centre, taking shoppers and retail staff by surprise as it pops in and out of lifts and visits our stores. The Tardis, which was created by University of West of Scotland staff and students, will be displayed at The Unexpected Artist unit on the first floor. The unit features work by BA Honours Digital Arts students from the University of West of Scotland.

Our shoppers are being invited to take selfies with both the Dalek and Tardis. For those who are not brave enough to take their own snap with the Dalek, a photographer will be available to record images which can be downloaded from our Facebook site.

Covers for comic books I’ll never get round to producing, part twenty-two

Image

Did I mention that the range of emotes in the game aren’t particularly comprehensive? I’m pretty reliant on the attacks of the different enemy types leading to a pose which isn’t just the default standing pose. I’ll be very surprised if I get to the end of this without repeating myself…Will to Power 8

I’m not sure “STUNG” makes much sense, unless you realise he’s on the ground on his back…