Getting fresh with the Prince, chapter one

I’ve been meaning to post these up for a while, but unfortunately the original document got somewhat corrupted. Nevertheless, now I can reveal the first part in a series of conversations with a Nigerian scammer which took place back in 2003, proving that even then I was equally full of comedy gold and not above making fun of people who don’t speak the same language…

Subj: ASSISTANCE!
Date: 07/08/2003 19:04:43 GMT Standard Time
From: princeazeezlawal@bluemail.dk
To: princeazeezlawal@bluemail.dk

Sent from the Internet (Details)

FROM THE DESK OF
PRINCE AZEEZ LAWAL
LAGOS, NIGERIA.
STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

 

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

I AM PRINCE AZEEZ LAWAL THE FINANCIAL CONTROLLER OF NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION(NNPC)AND BY THE VIRTUE AS A
DIRECTOR IN THE NNPC LAGOS, I GOT YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS FROM AN ASSOCIATE WORKING WITH THE NIGERIAN EXPORT PROMOTION COUNCIL AND I DECIDED TO PROPOSE TO YOU THIS BUSINESS IN STRICT CONFIDENCE.

PURPOSE:
ON BEHALF OF MYSELF AND MY COLLEAGUES WHO ARE MINISTRIAL OFFICERS AND THE OTHER OFFICERS INCHARGE OF THE OFF-SHORE REMITTANCE IN THIS CORPERATION, WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE FOR THE TRANFER OF US$30M TO YOUR ACCOUNT FOR FURTHER PRIVATE
INVESTMENT.
HENCE OUR REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE.

 

SOURCE OF FUND:
THIS AMOUNT TO BE TRANFERED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT OCCURED FROM AN OVER INVOICED CONTRACT AMOUNT FOR THE CONSTRUCTION OF AN OIL REFINARY SUB-STATION IN NIGERIA (NORTHERN REGION) IN 1998 TO AN EXPERTRATE COMPANY. THE CONTRACT WHICH WAS
ORIGINALLY VALUED FOR US$109M. THE EXTRA US$30M IS WHAT WE WANT TO TRANFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT.THIS CONTRACT HAS BEEN COMPLETLY
EXECUTED AND THE CONTRACTOR HAS BEEN PAID ALL THEIR CONTRACT SUM REMAINING US$30M.

 

REQUIREMENT:

WHAT WE EXPECT FROM YOU IN YOUR REPLY ARE:

YOUR NAME AND CONTACT ADDRESS YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, FOR EASY COMMUNICATION. THE NAME AND PHONE AND FAX NUMBER OF YOUR BANK.
ACCOUNT NUMBER, FOR SUBMISSION TO THE MINISTERIES AS TO WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE LOGDED.
YOU SHALL ARRENGE FOR US TO MEET WITH YOU IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE MONEY HAD BEEN REMITTED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

 

DISBURSEMENT:

WE HAVE RESOLVED THAT YOU TAKE 30% OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO CLAIM THE OVER INVOICED MONEY HERE IN NIGERIA WITHOUT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ADDITION 10% HAS BEEN MAPED OUT FOR ANY MISCELLINOUS EXPENSES INCURRED BY YOU AND US DURING THE BUSINESS
AND 60% IS FOR MY COLLEAGUES AND MYSELF.

SECURITY: ALL MODALITIES TO EFFECT THE PAYMENT AND SUBSEQUENT TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY HAS BEEN WORKED OUT.

SO, THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE. THOUGH, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO TREAT THIS BUSINESS WITH STRICT CONFIDENCE.
I AWAIT YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE THROUGH MY EMAIL ADDRESS ABOVE, SEND ME YOUR CONFIDENTIAL FAX AND PHONE FOR SPEEDY
CORRESPONDENCE.

I WILL HIGHLY APPRECIATE IF YOU TREAT THIS BUSINESS WITH STRICT CONFIDENCE FOR SECURITY REASONS OUR COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE ON EMAIL ONLY.
PLEASE CONTACT ME ON THESE MAIL IF INTERESTED
E-mail:princeazeezlawal2003@yahoo.com or princeazeezlawal@lycos.com
My phone number is :234-802-3156665.
I WILL BE GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU

BEST REGARDS.
Prince Azeez Lawal

+++07 August 2003 22:06+++
From the E. mind of the E. Hood

Prince Sir:
I was egregious* to receive your recent correspondence regarding certain strictly confidential matters related to the transfer of private funds. I have had many dealings with foreign businesses during my plans for domination. I consider it a great virtue that I have been able to influence mens minds including those of our mutual associates with the Nigerian Export Promotion Council (NEPC) to be so highly regarded as trustworthy and suitable.
I take your advice that this business should be kept strictly confidential. Although I have employed lackeys to do my bidding in the past I will endeavour to keep all dealing within this matter to myself alone as though they were the secrets of International Rescue (IR) themselves.
My understanding is that my private funds will receive Nine mellion dollars** (US) for my part in this transaction, but I must be assured that any expenses incurred by myself (travel, hire of construction vehicles, copies of relevant security passes and paperwork, disguises or bribes) will be met out of the pool*** of $3,000,000 you and your colleagues have set aside as miscellinous.

If the above is satisfactory to all parties then I would be willing to stand by for action on this fiscal matter at the earliest opportunity.

Mwah-a-ha – as I believe your countrymen say,
Hood.

* Can anyone tell me what the “egregious” actually means because I don’t know..?
** I know that the “nine mellion dollars” is more Doctor Evil than Hood, Evil, but I couldn’t resist when I worked out how much the percentage actually was.
*** “Out of the pool” like Thunderbird 1 was just too sweet. If he replies I’ll try to work in the launch methods of the other vehicles in each message.

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